nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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