I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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