Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
