My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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