Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
