Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
