Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
