hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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