I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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