how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
