11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
