So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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