I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
