You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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