I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
