Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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