So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize