Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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