thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
