State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
