quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
