So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
