I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
