Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
