sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
