Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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