A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
