i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
