will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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