i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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