In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
