Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
