Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
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we made out on top of his cat.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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