Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
