worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
