if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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