she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm having to shit out rocks
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