Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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