found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Life is so much better after having sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
