I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize