Buhtt sex?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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