I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
