OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
