I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
