Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
