So drunk its hurt
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
