This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
