I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
