we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
