wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
