he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
