This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
