your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
