before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize