We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
