respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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