He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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