I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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