You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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