So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
