I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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