He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
