So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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