my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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