No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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