She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
