the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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